What Would I Do Now?
by color0her0wonderful
Summary: Dimitri is punishing himself for not loving Rose sooner. Set after he is changed by the unknown blond strigoi. I made up a name. Characters not mine. Might be longer. not sure.
1. Chapter 1

What would I do now? Without the love of my life by my side, there was no meaning of life. But then again, I'm a strigoi. Either way I have nothing. I would end it all, my life, my guardianship anything to be with her peacefully. I remember all those time that I chastised myself for the lapse in control when I showed my true feelings around her. But, now… I wish I had pursued my love with her much sooner. Then we would have had more time together. Now it's over and there's just me and my creator. I looked into his eyes. He was the one who had acknowledged Rose. I flinched at her name. I had forgotten about him. I shouldn't have! What have I done? He smiled down at me. He had told me his name was Chris. I hadn't cared enough to respond.

"You loved her didn't you?" It's funny, well as funny as things could be at this moment that Vasilisa had never noticed anything. She's Rose's best friend. How did she not notice? Victor had. Adrian had, and now so did Chris. A person who had only been in our midst for seconds.

What would I do now? Without her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Dimitri POV**

Looking around I noticed something. I had no idea where I was. I wasn't on the caves, I wasn't in the forest by the school. I was just in a cell. A padded cell. What the fuck? "Hello?!" nothing. Where the hell was that stupid blond strigoi Chris? I have to stop talking about them like that. I'm one of them now. Man, Rose is gonna kill me. I almost laughed, but couldn't find the strength. How the hell am I so weak if I'm a strigoi. Lame. So not worth it.

"You called?" Chris! "I did. Where the hell am I? And why am I tied to a chair. Even if I left I couldn't go back to her." "Dude. You're an idiot!" "Don't call me dude. I'm 24 not 15."

"No seriously. There's no point for you to fight anymore. Give it up. You're tied up because you Russian people scare the shit out of me." Well that's flattering. "I don't give a fuck!" I looked down whispering now. "There's no point she'll never love me now. I'm a strigoi, the very thing she's sworn to kill and protect from." He knelt down in front of me.

**Rose POV**

The first place I decided to check was Russia. I had a feeling that he would be there. I also had a feeling that there was no way the Dimitri I knew could be taken down. But I had proof, Mason had told me. Or was that proof? I looked up at the sky and hoped that whoever was listening would hear me. "Give me a sign! A hunch! Anything!" I sighed, no point. He wouldn't love me as a strigoi, but I still loved him. The only point I had was to end his life. God, why? I know that I never believed, but I don't think I ever did anything bad enough to deserve this.

A light ray of sunshine shone through the canopy clouds up above. It's freezing in Russia. Seeing the sun and feeling its warmth on my face was a big thing. Is this my sign?


	3. Chapter 3

_I didn't get many reviews last chapter. Actually I didn't get any. At all. That kind of makes me nervous. I'm guessing no one liked the last chapter, sorry. I'll try again._

_~elli 3_

**Rose POV**

Why would a sign, be in a ray of sunshine. How lame is that? I looked up at the sky again. Thinking about a story in the bible. I had heard it when I and Lissa were on a subway. Back when we had run away. A mother was telling it to her little boy. The story of Noah and the Ark. God had flooded the earth and sent Noah to build a boat and get two of every animal. An almost impossible job, but he had done it. In the end a rainbow appeared in the sky as God's promise to never flood the earth again. As I looked up at the sky, i couldn't help but notice something. Noah's task was a lot like mine. Almost impossible. I wanted life to go on the way it is and to have Dimitri by my side. But I can't, but this ray of light said everything would be ok.

**Dimitri POV**

_He knelt down in front of me._ And looked me square in the eye, "I'm going to untie you, because you're annoying me." He walked out of the room, without untying me. OK. I heard a shatter from down the hall a moment later he walked in with a broken piece of glass. Holding it up in front of my face he smiled at me. A genuine smile. My eyes, my eyes were brown. "How?" I could tell you loved her and when I looked at you together I saw me and... someone special to me. She had died because of a strigoi attack. I gave up my life for her. I was turned and I've spent the last five years finding those who did it. At first I was angry that you two had a forbidden romance and it was ok, but mine wasn't. But now, well I couldn't bring myself to do it." He walked behind me and untied me. I sat there for a second crying, and then I stood up. "Thank you." Was all I said then walked out. My new mission was to find her. And to set things right.

**Rose POV**

Impossible. "No." I sat in the doctors' office on a little bed with plastic covering it. A Moroi doctor stood in front of me, a small smile on her lips. "I'm sorry but, you're carrying a baby."

_Sorry that it's so short. I've got personal issues to take care of. Please review. Press the green button._


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it's been so long, I've been super busy with personal problems. Enjoy!**

_**P.S. Later on bold is translation for the Russian.**_

**Rose POV**

I came here because I wasn't feeling good. I had assumed it was a cold or something due to the cold weather.

"No. What do you not get?! I'm not… pregnant." She stared at me in shock. ", please. I am not mistaken. You are carrying fetuses." Huh? "You mean plural?" She held up her hand in a peace sign gesture and wagged two fingers. "Twins."

**Dimitri POV**

I was in Russia. I was walking around aimlessly, I had to admit I was lost. I was in a farmers market by the looks of it. Walking up to a lady with a cart full of vegetables I hoped I could get accurate answers. "Pri Vyet. Kak waas za voot?" **(Russian for: Hello. What is your name?)** I hoped that my friendliness would help.

"Pri Vyet." She nodded and looked me up and down. "My name is Anya." Ah, an English speaker. I smiled. "Hello Anya. Where exactly am I?" "You are in Ishim, Russia." That is why the place was familiar but, still quite new. "Thank you." She smiled and I left. I was in Ishim. The place where I grew up but haven't returned to since I was seven-teen.

**Rose POV**

I slid off the bed, bent down and placed my hands on my knees panting. Twins? "Twins?" I asked in a hoarse voice. "Ms. Hathaway? Are you alright?" I stood up and looked her in the eyes. She was pretty with blue eyes and blond hair. "Do I look okay? The father of my baby… babies… is a Dhampir." I started to laugh a nervous laugh. My cell phone started to ring in my side pocket. I had gotten it at the beginning of my trip never once had it rung for a phone call. No, that's not what I bought it for.

"Hello?" "Rose? Little Dhampir." No. "It's Adrian."

**Lissa POV**

"Rose? Little Dhampir. It's Adrian." He dropped the phone and covered his ear. Looking at me he said. "Jesus she can yell." From the phone that was now on the floor I heard the soft buzzing from Roses yells. "What happened?" "She's pissed that's what happened." "Well I don't care. She has to know what is going on." I picked up the phone. "ROSE!" she stopped. "Lissa?" it was good to hear her voice again. "Listen to me Rose. I know that you are carrying twins. I can feel them, through the bond. I don't know what happened, you left and all I wanted was to be with you. And I slipped into your head. After I felt them I knew. Something is very wrong. You slept with Dimitri who is a dhampir and so are you." "Lissa, what is wrong with me?" she sobbed. "Rose you have to stay calm. Your emotions are becoming too strong for me to handle." I could feel the pull and knew that I didn't have much longer. "Rose listen to me. Nothing is wrong. Everything is right. I might have found a way to save Dimitri. Pregnancy symbolizes new life. Being shadow-kissed you have the ability to trade their life for his. "

**Dimitri POV**

I stood at the door to my mothers' house, staring at it. I need to knock. Would my mother be angry? Angry, that I hadn't spoken to her. When I was seven-teen I had been too busy to enjoy my own life and that meant not calling my mother. And after… after my charge died I came up with excuses not to call. I sighed and knocked on the door. My sister Helina opened the door. She smiled and ran to hug me. "Dimitri." She let go and I looked at her. She had grown up to be beautiful just like I knew she would. "Kahk dyeh-LAH?" **(How are you?") **"Harosho." **(Fine.) **My other sister Lara had come around. "Dobroye utro." **(Good Morning.) **"Girls, who is it?" my mother Ekaterina stepped in front of them. The glass she was holding slipped from her frail fingers. She looked up at me and I saw a single tear slide down her cheek. "Dimitri." She placed her gentle hand on my face. "You have come home."

_I Hope you enjoyed and please review!_

_-elli_


	5. Chapter 5

Playlist:

Wishing you were somehow here again. : Phantom of the Opera

Here Without You : 3 Doors Down

_**Rose POV**_

So many names to choose from. I finally decided that my son would be named Ivan and my daughter named Anastasia. The doctor had told me that I was having a girl and a boy. More than anything I wished that Dimitri, their father would be there. Standing beside along with me as we set them off into the world we grew up in. I was scared, I didn't want to be like my mother. She set me off as soon she could. I want to watch my kids grow up but mostly I didn't want them to be a part of the dangerous vampire world. I also knew this wasn't a decision I could make by myself. I need Dimitri more than I thought I ever would. Dimitri was always the rational one. This makes sense because he's older than me. But I still wished that I hadn't been so hard for him to handle.

I looked in the round silver framed mirror in the hotel bathroom. My red rimmed eyes looked back at me. The shower was still running. It was one of those shower and bath things I turned the shower on hot and sat down in the tub. Hoping to clear my mind it only brought back fantasies and things that I hoped would become memories but knew never would. Me and Dimitri. I couldn't think, couldn't process anything but him.

He was once my only shoulder to lean on. He was all that mattered, then my world was shattered. Wishing he was here again. Sometime it seemed if I just wished hard enough he would be. Wishing I could hear that perfect laugh knowing that I never will. The decision to keep my children away from the moroi world had been decided. Dimitri would have wanted them to. I hadn't realized I'd been in the shower so long the water was turning cold. How I wish that he could hold me he was warm.

Too much time has passed too much fighting to forget. I don't want to forget! I always want to remember. Wishing he was here knowing that I need to say goodbye. Trying to forgive what I know was my fault. He taught me to live and helped me to do all that I knew I could.

Memories flooded my mind as tears slid down my cheek.

_**Adrian POV**_

"I'm here without you baby. You're still with me in my dreams and tonight it's only you and me."

Rose. I miss her and I hoped that she would give me my chance as she promised.

"I'm here without you baby. But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time."

She promised. The empty alcohol bottles were scattered selectively around my room. I picked one up and sat on my recliner and drank. I hadn't seen Lissa in a while. Frankly I didn't really want to. She sort of blamed me for giving Rose the money and so did I. But also that face, Lissa's face made me wants to puke and break my promise to run after Rose. Knowing that it would in turn allow her to break her promise. But I would give that up if it meant that she didn't have to this alone. And she didn't have to, she had us.

_**Dimitri POV**_

I sat in my mothers living room. She had tears and her eyes as did my sisters. I had just finished me and Roza's tragic and colorful love story. And our not-supposed-to-happen unhappy ending. I should send that to Disney they'd just love the whole sex in a cabin thing. My mama stood up and hugged pulling me up. She was so tiny compared to me. So was Rose.

"Look mama, there's a reason I'm here. I'm sorry that I never came around. You see Rose taught me how to love again. And now that I know I will be ok I need to see her and I need your help. So will you please help me?"

_**Rose POV**_

The blood trickled down my wrist and the shards of the broken glass lay on the floor around my feet. I had punched the mirror with as much force as I could. Hoping to break it but not fully thinking it through. I could practically hear Dimitri chastising me about control from behind me. Of course he wasn't actually there, but I knew what he would say. I bandaged myself up and prepared myself to make a phone call that I might regret. A phone call to Lissa.

_Short I know I'm sorry I'm super busy with color guard at my high school. I'll update sooner. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! I'll update faster if you do!_

_~elli_


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the really looooong wait. I'll try my best not to do it again. I just loved the reviews! Thank you so much! And I will try my best to make the chapters from this one on to be longer.

Playlist:

When I'm gone – 3 Doors Down

_**Rose POV**_

As I dialed the familiar number to Lissa's cell phone, another call rang in. God I hate when that happens. I pressed the flash button hoping it would go by quickly.

"Hello?" so my voice was slightly agitated. Who the hell cares?

"Excuse me young lady, but you do not pick up the phone like that." Holy Shi- "Rose. This is your mother. Hello? Hello Rose. I know you're still there, I can hear you breathing through the receiver." That is freaking creepy.

"Janine? What do you want? Did you finally decide that you cared what I did?"

"Go back to the academy Rose. No child of mine will be a blood whore!" What the fuck?!

"Fuck you mom. Fuck you. You know nothing about what I am going through. Nor do you even care." I said threw clenched teeth, tears were flowing freely down my cheeks. "My heart is shattered into tens and thousands of pieces, and no one seems to give a shit! I don't care what happens to your reputation I don't care what happens to mine. Did you even stop to think that maybe I loved him! That maybe this was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life? No. You don't have to answer I already know. You didn't care. I was all that you ever wanted and I gave up so much for Lissa. And not even she cared enough to help me. So screw you and screw the academy. My only mission left in life is to save him and his… his children." I hung up the phone as soon as I heard her strangled gasp. My ranting was short but I could still feel the fire inside. I was angry. Angry at the academy, angry at Lissa, but most of all angry at myself. I was selfish and it cost Dimitri his life, and a future of happiness. He could have been with Tasha Ozera, had children and protected her without and issues. If I could go back and change anything. It would be that fateful day in Kirova's office when Dimitri offered to train me. I was asked if I was willing to do it under the circumstances. If I knew then what I know now I would have said no. he would have never fallen in love with me and I would have never fallen in love with him. My story would have ended there. Dimitri wouldn't have had to tell me the Blood Whore communities were actually very nice. Maybe I would have found out for myself.

But would Lissa have gotten together with Christian. Would Masen have died? I wouldn't have been there to tell him about Spokane. Lissa would have never been the same with me gone. Christian would have gone on unnoticed. Mia would always hate Lissa because Spokane never happened. Things would have been much different, people would have been much happier. Maybe that's just what I need. To go on like the past never happened, to start over and pretend that Dimitri was alive and happy and that I didn't give a damn about him. That he was just the guy who had brought me back to the academy. But would I take it all back? All the good memories and the experiences that shaped my personality. That made me the girl who at seven-teen single handedly decapitated two strigoi. The girl who "kidnapped" a moroi for two years. The girl named Rose Hathaway. A lot had happened to me in the short time that I was back at the Academy. I had started a relationship with an older man. But no I wouldn't change anything because without Dimitri changing my life things wouldn't be the same.

_**Dimitri POV**_

Before I could see my Roza again I knew there was one thing I had to do before going back. "Lara, Helina, mama. I need your undivided attention. If this is too much to ask tell me and I will leave. What I am going to ask you for is very dangerous and wouldn't ask if I didn't think you could do it." My mother smiled. Lara placed her hand on mine. She was always the tough one. Like Rose, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that she could do what I was about to ask of her. "Dimitri, come on. You know us, and you know that as your family we will be here for you no matter the cost. Now come, lay it on us. Tell us what we have to do to make you happy. And to get what you deserve." I looked at all of them. "OK. Here's the deal. I told you about Chris. And how without his sympathy and realization that mine and Rose's relationship was much like his. I would not be here, alive and well." They all nodded. Helina spoke "You know I always assumed that you and Natasha Ozera would get together. But by the way you described Rose, makes me like Rose much better." My mother smiled at me. I continued. "I want to help Chris and I know just the way to do it. Now it's not like me, it goes against what I've ever done. But I feel I owe him quite a lot."

_**Lissa POV**_

I walked back to my dorm room. I was a bit happy. I had found a way to save Dimitri. I couldn't quite forgive myself for not helping Rose. I was selfish much like I always was. And it shouldn't be that way. Rose deserved better and so I would make that happen. The only way to save Dimitri was to trade the babies' lives for his. Being shadow kissed Rose had a connection to the world of the dead. Strigoi are the walking undead. Rose was connected to them also. It would take a bit of magic on my part and on Adrian's unwilling part, but we could make it happen. We could heal him. And Rose would be happy again, the only thing I worried about was how Rose would take the absence of her children. Not being a mother myself I wondered if she would be affected at all. I had heard that having an abortion hurt both you and the baby. Now of course she wasn't having an abortion but the circumstances were the same. How would Rose handle it? How would Dimitri handle it if he ever knew?

_**Dimitri POV**_

It's not my type to create an army of guardians and novices to fight strigoi for a strigoi. It seems criminal, but I believe that we can do it. Mother I'll need your help I need you to gather together all senior students at the Russian Vampire Academy and all willing guardians in the area. Helina I need you to train them. I know you can do it your tough and you can handle a bunch of hormonal teenagers. Can't you?" "Heck yes!" I laughed "Lara, I'm going to need your help also." She sat up straighter in her seat and focused on me. "I need you to keep them motivated. Your pretty face can keep them calm and make them believe anything. Make them feel like this is just a test. Even though they will be told that it is not." I said to reassure my mothers questioning glance. "Can we do it?" they all agreed and set off to work. I sat there on the couch and rubbed my hands together. This is going to be hard but I can do it. We can do it. I looked down at my dirty hands. Wow, I cant believe my mother let me in the house like this. Memories of my younger years popped into my head. My mother hosing my down outside after playing in the mud with my friends. Rose would be a great mother. Would she always love me knowing that I couldn't give her that. Shut up Dimitri. She'll always love you and if she wants to move on, you'll let her because you love her too.

REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS! Please?


	7. Chapter 7

**Dimitri POV**

"_Rose would be a great mother. Would she always love me knowing that I couldn't give her that. Shut up Dimitri. She'll always love you and if she wants to move on, you'll let her because you love her too."_

Stepping out of the shower, I looked into the mirror and focused on my eyes. My eyes, the same color they had always been. I thought about the things I took for granted, my life, my soul, Rose. I pushed her away countless number of times, but did I really need to. I gave up just before the attack and conceded to her wishes and well… mine. Why couldn't I do that before.

The door to the bathroom opened and I stopped thinking. "Oh shit!" Thank… God there was a towel wrapped around me. "Lara… um yes?"

"Sorry Dimka, you were talking to yourself and well I was a bit worried. Are you alright?" I was speaking out loud? "How much did you hear Lara?"

"Not much, just something about you giving up before an attack?" I nodded. "Indeed you heard, sorry. I didn't realize I was speaking out loud." "Oh, it's alright." She looked down at the floor then looked up. "What was she like? Rose."

I looked at my pretty sister. I looked her in the eyes. "She was… everything. She had these that held the world, secrets, lies, pain and goodness. Her hair was gorgeous. I remember once she complained that all female guardians cut their hair, but that she didn't want to. I told her that she shouldn't. I always loved her hair. She's beautiful too, absolutely beautiful. She… she meant a lot to me. You see, Rose saw me for who I really was. Most people didn't look beyond the exterior but she did. Mainly because we were a lot alike. You would have loved her, I'm certain of that." Lara smiled and shut the door.

**Rose POV**

"Hello Lissa?" "Hello Rose." "Look Lissa I've been thinking a lot about the whole situation that we are in. Me being pregnant, Dimitri being dead. It's just a lot to handle. And well I want to keep my children. There has to be some other way, to do this." "Oh Rose, I was afraid this would be a problem, but there is no other way. I couldn't find anything." "Well then we haven't tried hard enough." I hung up the phone. I hadn't meant to be rude I just knew what I wanted and this wasn't it.

**Christian POV**

I stood on a balcony just staring out into the night. Rose was Lissa's best friend and believe me I cared for her. Even when it seemed like I didn't. I did. Everything changed after Spokane. I had a whole new perspective of her. She didn't like Mia at all but still she fought for her and could have died… would have died for her. Rose deserved better than this.

I can't say I was surprised about the whole her loving Dimitri thing. After finding out I realize all the signs were there. And if you were looking for it, you would have known. I wonder if anyone was looking for it, or if anyone just knew. Adrian had hinted at it before, but only in small talk conversations.

When Rose and Lissa first came back with Belikov it was clear she didn't like him, at all. But now she loves him. How and when did it happen? Will we ever know? Belikov stayed instead of going with Tasha. Was it for Rose? I turned around and saw Adrian. "Hey"

"Hey. You were thinking about something serious. I can tell by your aura" Should I tell Adrian, it was clear he cared a lot about Rose. Maybe more than a Moroi should care about a Dhampir. "Did you know?"

"Know what?" "Did you know about Rose and Dimitri?"

"I had the idea. And pretty much had it all figured out."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"  
"Look Christian, I'm not the fucked up asshole everyone makes me out to be! I care about her! I may not be who she wants, but I sure as hell wouldn't do that to her. Why do you think I gave her the money, it wasn't because I wanted to make that deal it was because I understood how she felt. She loves him and she's setting him free even if it kills her. And yes I knew, I knew just by looking at them. I knew something was wrong with Lissa and I knew it was somehow affecting Rose. I also knew there was nothing to do about it, just like I knew there was nothing I could do about her loving him. Yea sure I've had my share of pleasures, but Rose wasn't like that. She deserved happiness, I wasn't going to be the one to ruin that for her." Adrian walked away from me then. I didn't say anything else.


	8. Chapter 8

**Christian POV**

I hadn't expected that from Adrian, not at all. Could it be that maybe he was smarter than any of us ever had known. I was always jealous of him, thinking that maybe he and Lissa were doing things behind my back. What must it have been like _knowing_ that Rose and Guardian Belikov had something going on? But then again, Adrian and Rose weren't together. He just really wanted her. Rose was pretty maybe even gorgeous, but it was very obvious that she didn't give just anybody the time of day. And I hate to say it but… well her kind often go towards moroi. I think no one has yet to stop and think about what she and Dimitri have done, or what she and Dimitri really had. She loved him and he loved her. But how come no one ever saw any exchanges between the two. And when we saw them together, you really couldn't tell. Everyone had it pinned up in their brains that she had the hots for Masen, especially when he died.

**Rose POV**

"Do you know who this is?" I held up a picture of Dimitri to women selling fruits on the street. I had taken it from his wallet. I think the reason he kept it in there was to remind himself of who he was. I always saw Dimitri in church and I didn't really know why. He had told me that it wasn't easy getting over your first kill. Even if it was a strigoi because they were technically people too. I had assumed that's why he was there, in church every Sunday.

"Possibly. He looks familiar, but with a face like that I would've remembered. I don't think I know him." I pulled out another picture from my jeans. It was him when he was younger with his sister. I don't know which sister it is, but I know it was one of them. "Nope. But her yea I know her. That's Lara Belikov. They live out on Ivanovo Street. It's just down that road. Let me tell you the girl in this photo has a pretty face. It must have got her that cute boyfriend I saw her walking around with." "Thank you, very much."

I remember when I had somewhat of a cute boyfriend. I kind of wish things could just go back to normal. Occasionally I find myself wishing I could get this over with, hoping that when I do I'll be able to move on without so much as looking back, but I know that won't happen. No, I love him too much.

I walk down a dirt road, hoping that this lady wasn't just a lady on crack who really had no idea who this person in the photo was. If that's the case I could go back and sincerely kick her ass, but that would be wrong and Dimitri would not approve. I knocked on a door. The first door I saw. I wish I had remembered to ask that lady which one it was.

An old lady answered the door. I'm pretty sure this isn't it. Three more wrong houses. I knocked on another one. The house was pretty; when I looked at it for some reason I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time. I felt… home.

The door opened and a girl that wasn't in the picture opened it. I looked down and sighed. This wasn't it. I felt the tears strolling down my cheeks. Except I wasn't angry, I was just sad. I looked up she was looking at me confused. "I'm sorry" I said "I must have the wrong house. Excuse me." I started to walk away, when I heard my name. "Rose?"

**Lissa POV**

To be honest, I really didn't know what to think. Rose's phone call really shocked me. There was no way both her and the babies would live. And not even that, when they're born everyone is going to know. Her reputation will be ruined. A knock on my door made me stop mid thought. I got up to answer it and to my surprise it was Mia. Her and Rose had become friends after the incident in Spokane but that really didn't include me. To the best of my knowledge, she hated me. "Hello Mia. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Listen I wouldn't have bothered you, except well I went to Roses room and no one answered. So I went looking for Guardian Belikov but I didn't find him either. I assumed you would no where she is."

"She's…" for the first time since she left I realized I really didn't know where she was. She knew Dimitri better than I did; even if I gave it all I had I wouldn't have the slightest inkling to where she was. "Mia, to be honest with you, I don't know where she is."

"How do you not know where she's at? Last time I was here it was plain as day that you two were falling apart but I had assumed you wouldn't be completely broken apart-"

"You haven't heard." I said rather thank asked. I already knew she didn't know. Why would she? "Rose ran away, after Dimitri. There was an attack, the strigoi, Rose fought along side Christian but not every one made it. Dimitri was so close, but the second round didn't end very well. Dimitri didn't make it. A strigoi bit him. If I hadn't been such a bitch and for once thought of someone rather than myself maybe I'd be able to tell you where she was. But I don't know." I took a minute to stop the tears threatening to take over. "Did you know?"

"You mean that Rose and Dimitri were sort of an item? Yea I knew, probably better than anyone else. I always knew."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Even though I was a bitch and really didn't like her. I could see that what they had was special and to ruin that would kill me. I guess you can say I really hoped that what they had would work out."

"Everyone seems to have known but me."

"Well Lissa, look at it this way. And I don't mean to you know make you feel bad, but towards the end there you really didn't give her a chance to tell you."


	9. Chapter 9

**Rose POV**

"Rose?" The girl said. I was sure I didn't know her, but I turned around anyway. It was obvious she was a dhampir and if she tried to fight me, I'm pretty sure I could take her. After all, in my opinion I had the best training ever. I hadn't noticed before but the shape of her eyes and color of her hair was oddly familiar. I looked down at the picture, it wasn't her. But….

"Yes? I'm Rose." I replied now aware of whom this girl was.

"Wow." She said. The girl standing in front of me looked me up and down and for the first time since that night in the cabin I felt self conscious. I wiped the remaining tears from my cheek with the back of my hands and averted my eyes. She continued "You are much more beautiful than I expected. I mean I knew that you were well" she gestured up and down at my body "gorgeous. But this is pushing it. Oh! I almost forgot, hello my name is Helina." From the corner of my eye I saw her stick her hand out for me to shake. I took it feeling the warmth.

Finally meeting her eyes I said "I know." I had figured it out when she opened the door and I saw that she wasn't male, older looking or the girl in the picture. All I needed was for her to confirm and I would know she was Dimitri's other sister. "I should have known. He said you were smart."

"I didn't realize he told you about me." I couldn't tell if this upset me or not. I mean I knew I would now have no future with his family (not that I could really have one before) but for some reason I really wanted to meet their standards. I'm sure they had high ones for Dimitri, so that must mean they had expectations of the girls he brought home.

"Yea, he never shuts up about it. Even when he's not talking about you he's thinking about you. It's pretty obvious. Momma says so." She smiled at me. I wondered how I could do something like this. To shatter that shining smile by telling her that the brother she knew and loved the one she still believed is alive was a strigoi.

"May I come in?" I asked as politely as I could. "I really need to talk to your family. It's very important." I knew this girl was maybe a year or two older than me, but she acted to my command like I was her mother. Opening the door just a tad bit more she gestured inside.

"Be my guest."

The inside of the house was beautiful. The couch looked worn and used. I could almost hear the laughter that must have come from this room. Again the sense of home warmed me. How many times had I thought about entering this house, only on better circumstances? Helina spoke from behind me "You can have a seat there, on the couch. I'll get mama and everyone else." I smiled to myself. She loved her mom; I could hear it in her voice. I don't know why but I started to cry. _This house is really getting to me._ I thought. I heard a gasp and a shatter. Spinning around I saw an older woman. She looked like the girl in the picture just older and like Helina. This must be his mother. Ekaterina. How could I forget that name, it was beautiful and so uncommon. Well for Americans that is. I looked down at her feet a purple vase lay at her feet, shattered. Yellow wildflowers were scattered and water was running.

I rushed to her and bent to pick up the pieces of glass. She just stood there looking down at me "Oh God." She whispered. She walked from the room to what I assumed was the kitchen. I watched her go thinking what the hell am I supposed to do now. She returned with a towel and bent to wipe up the water.

"No, no. I got this." I gently took the towel from her. She stayed there kneeling beside me. Putting the pieces of glass I picked up in the towel. Feeling her stare I looked up into her eyes and gasped. They were his eyes. The eyes I tried so hard to forget. A thousand memories flooded into me, I fought not to cry. Her face was bewildered a question on her lips.

I could hear pounding on the stairs as someone ran down them. Ekaterina stayed where she was, her brown eyes never leaving mine. Whoever it was entered the room. Three sets of footfalls, each one distinct, different weight. Something I learned from Dimitri. I couldn't look at them; I didn't want to look away from those eyes. They weren't his but they soothed the withdrawals I was having since he was taken away.

Finally Ekaterina regained her composure. Smiling at me she took my hand and helped me up. My legs were a little wobbly. I turned to see who had entered the room and stared shocked. It was Helina, Lara the girl from my picture and… someone I didn't recognize. A male. The front door burst open. "Mom! Lara! Helina!"

**Dimitri POV**

Mama had sent me out about twenty minutes ago to get milk and eggs, but I hurried home now. A feeling stirred inside me, I needed to be home and I needed to be there now. Something was wrong, I could feel it. If it wasn't wrong, then it was off. There was something different. I was practically running down the street to my mothers' house eggs and milk in tow. I was almost at my door when someone stopped me. A gentle hand rested on my shoulder, I turned to see an older man, he looked to be about fifty or sixty. "Excuse me son, can you tell me where the supermarket is?" I gestured in front of me to the corner.

"It's around that corner, third store on the left." I said impatiently, this man was wasting my time.

"Thank you son. You can never find good help around here with the young folk. You must have a good woman in your life." He smiled. "You look like you're in a hurry."

"I am I have to get home to that good woman in my life. She's my mom."

"Ah, no sexual woman in your life. Could be because you still live with your mom." He said.

"Look, I'm visiting from out of town. Can I please go, I need to leave." I said impatiently. I gave him what he wanted why is he still talking to me?

"Young man, I am trying to teach you patience, I can see that at this moment you have none. And I think I know why. My grandmother was a witch, or so she said. She taught me things in my younger years, including how to read people. And you are suffering a great depression; it's almost bringing me down. Don't worry, the girl may have slipped from your hands this time, and yes history often repeats itself but this is not something you will relive. So sow down, because your life is about to change." With that the old man turned around and left. What the fuck? I turned choosing to ignore him and continue walking in a rush.

Pushing the door open I yelled "Mom! Lara! Helina!"

"In here I heard Lara's voice say. She sounded shocked, what was wrong? Walking into the living room I saw my sisters a male my mother and a familiar face I could never forget. Rose. She stared back at me, her expression pained, her eyes were red rimmed and tears were gushing from her eyes. Even in this state she was beautiful, her legs were shaking as though she were going to fall. I dropped the milk and eggs and rushed to her side. As soon as I touched her she fell into my embrace. She was cold. I needed to warm her.

I could feel the presence of the others leave the room. It was just me and her. I patted her hair to stop her silent sobs. Gently, never letting go of her I pulled her with me to the couch.

"Oh God. Oh God." She continued to say.

"Shh. It's alright I'm here." I held her so tight, hoping to anyone who was listening that I would never ever have to let go again. I would die in this position if it meant she was the one I was holding. "Oh God Rose, I love you." I could feel the tears coming from my eyes. Men don't cry, but at the point I wasn't just a man. I was an alcoholic who just heard the news saying you could now drink and drive, which meant I would never have to put the bottle down.

"I love you too." She pulled away from me, and I stifled a sob. Why? Why move? "Well since you're alive." She choked on the word. "We really need to talk." She grabbed my hand and squeezed. She told me everything. How she had come to find me and was planning on telling my family of whom she was and our relationship and what had happened to me. She told me how she was pregnant and that she was having twins. She also told me they were mine. Which I never doubted, she wasn't a whore, the only thing I questioned was how. She explained to me that it was a defect in her DNA due to the fact that she was shadow kissed.

I don't know how long I held her as she cried as did I. Children was something I never really though about. I thought I would be mad, but I wasn't. Babies that weren't someone else's, they would be mine, ours. No dhampir couples got this opportunity. I shifted prepared to tell her what I had planned. I told her how Chris had spared me because of his similar situation, only that his hadn't ended as well as ours had. I told her of my plans to create an army of novices and guardians to attack the strigoi that changed him, to give him the peace he so rightly deserved. She smiled up at me.

"That is just like you." Her smile turned mischievous. "I like it! Count me in." I kissed her, full on the lips and picked her up, she placed each leg on either side of me, straddling me. "I've missed you." I said between kisses. This is what it was like to be truly, deeply and madly in love.

_AN! Should I add lemons? Can't decide._


End file.
